The next shock was getting the amnio results back. I was told my baby had Trisomy 21. The FISH test had produced a negative on Trisomy 21. The FISH test is not 100%, the amnio is really the definitive test and it was positive. Now what?
So once again, Dr G told me I could get a late abortion. And once again, I said nothing. He said they could not do it but there was a place in Kansas.
The man in my life wanted me to terminate. At least that's what he thought at the time.
When I got home I looked up late term abortions out of curiosity. Before I continue, let me say that I am pro-choice. I think every woman should be able to make the right choice for her at any given time. Early abortions are something very different from a late term abortion. You don't look pregnant and usually you do not feel pregnant. Circumstances may make the choice for you. I do not advocate abortions as birth control. Being pregnant, giving birth or not giving birth is a life changing experience for every woman. and it should be considered carefully.
So back to the late term abortions. They are indicated in situations like mine. I read about the procedure and here is what stuck in my mind. They would induce me and then use something to take the baby out piece by piece. I was so revolted I never even considered looking into it further.
My baby was moving and I could feel him, I looked very pregnant since it started as a twin pregnancy. I could not, would not, kill my child. I did believe he would die, it just wouldn't be my choice.
That does not mean it is not right for some women. We are all different. For some, carrying a baby to term that will most certainly die is too hard. The Mother must be considered. What is the point of carrying to term if the Mother does not survive emotionally? For others, like me, I would not survive if I terminated. Both choices are right. My choice was my survival.
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