I worried for nothing, my husband moved his arm slightly and the tube came out, we freaked out. Not knowing what to do we just looked stricken and they asked if we wanted him resuscitated.
We had said all along we did not want him resuscitated. It was over, he was gone.
The neonatologist came to us and told us she had resuscitated him before so he would be alive when we got there. It seems she was confessing. We thanked her. With grieving parents you never know how something like that would go. Months later I wrote her a letter telling her how very grateful we were that she had gone against our wishes so we could hold him while he was alive. We could tell it meant a lot to her that we said that.
They very quickly took us to a room so we could be alone with him, away from everyone.
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