Two hours till verdict

Baby boy was 8 lbs 10.5 oz.  That was an enormous baby for me to deliver and it took them exactly 2 hrs to sew me back together.  I was just getting into the shower when the neonatologist and some other specialist came in to tell me it was even worse than they thought.  He had everything (CDH and TOF) they saw plus complete atresia of the pulmonary valve.

"TOF/PA is relatively rare, with a reported incidence of 0.7 per 10,000 live births in the Baltimore-Washington Infant Study [1]. While TOF is the most common cyanotic congenital heart lesion, TOF/PA/MAPCAs is considered to be the most extreme form of TOF and accounts for approximately one-fifth of all cases of TOF [2].

ANATOMY

Tetralogy of Fallot with pulmonary valve atresia (TOF/PA) is a complex lesion that includes characteristic features of TOF (anterior malaligned ventricular septal defect and overriding aorta) with pulmonary valve atresia. Pulmonary valve atresia may be limited to the valve itself (membranous pulmonary valve atresia) or involve the subpulmonary infundibulum (muscular pulmonary valve atresia), and results in no antegrade flow from the right ventricle to the pulmonary artery"

So that was it, no chance and no hope.  It was what I had spent my pregnancy preparing for so the while news distressed me it did not shock me.